Last year, first day!

Today is the first day of my senior year. Unlike any other year of my college, everything is ordinary, the same friends, some nasty classmates and also some same lecturers as well. I am walking into my classroom as I did for last three years. I don’t feel anything new. Neither had anything hit me nor did anything make a difference to me that today I am officially the “senior” along all other students of my batch.

I am in my class room; everything is so monotonous and natural. I have grasped the same corner of my desk which has become my favourite in three years, the reason being the window on my left and a huge ceiling fan over me. This window always gives me a feeling to tie my legs with a rope and hang myself inverted free in air just to feel the excitement of height above ground and the scare of falling off there.

I am the first one to reach in the classroom. I am thinking about how might be my last year. Will it be worse than the last three years? I remember the first day of my college and how I made friends with sheku, sara, pranks, trpts and shaggu. I was very late on that day. I searched some room called 2L-EC-1, which meant second floor-left-electronics-first year. After running one floor up and one floor down I found my class. As I knocked on the door, the teacher opened it I saw the class full of weird people (strange and new faces) all having the same thoughts like I had then.

I have learned many great things in my college which I could not catch on either in school or I might not be able to grasp them in future years to come. Well the knowledge you attain during college life in the best and most exciting ones. I learned three most important things in college- how to utilize the library and canteen (for bunking lectures), how to memorize quickly and visually in short given time and the best one – to drop myself asleep whenever possible on any horizontal surface.

I remember the last semester exam, it brings a smile on my face now. How it has always been since three years. Late night calls to each other may be till morning, discussing topics and burning mid night oil and then waking up each other by calling on phone so that no one by mistake sleeps whole morning and misses the main exam. Walking through the corridors of class is quite similar to walking through a battle field, scared of what might be the question paper, would we forget the last moment checked topics, praying for our guesses to be correct, sometimes even praying to get the original question paper from somewhere before exams. But after the exam gets over we jump around everywhere joyously as if we won a war and not at all think about how it went. And I remember very clearly on result declaration day it is such a nail biting scenario as we stand firm holding each other’s arms tightly, thinking what if we had studied and prepared a bit more, planning to study well and better the next semester, concerned about everyone’s result and praying all the god’s of the world for all our friends and ourselves to clear the exams with no reappears.

Then I also remember sometimes having fun in canteen, emptying the bottle of coke on somebody, or sometimes cracking jokes for long hours forgetting we have important labs or lectures to attend. And sometimes giving surprise birthday parties to the best friends and getting surprise parties from friends.

I did had my bad and some good experiences in last three years, fights and arguments with people, some of them I hate to face everyday but I realise as I would graduate I will never see more than half of the people again in my life.

Getting up in the morning and travelling 35 kms by college bus, seeing some disturbing guys and show off people and reaching back at 6pm did make me mad. Some of the disturbing people just surround themselves with others because they are too deathly scared to be alone. They are so scared that they aren't really friends, they just pretend because without those people they would be nothing. They notice the imperfections in our faces though their own eyes cannot see their own imperfections. Gradually I started hating my college.

As I had our long summer vacation I felt I need to meet my college friends, time to spend with them as with them I forget all my miseries and sorrow if I have any, I missed their support and the fun we have together, I wished to plan outing at least once during vacation to meet them up but none of us could make out due to far distances of our homes and our training period that kept us caught in it. Well life isn’t all that it seems to us and our wishes to be like the way we presume it to be.

Right now I realise for my senior year, College is a lot of fun, but in the meantime, we must jump at every opportunity we get to do anything that we have ever wanted to do. Spend as much time with friends as possible, for it will not be long until we meet new people and inevitably grow apart.

It hits me now, what it might be after the college, will I get the same good friends or some better friends or no friends like the ones I have now? May be I won’t feel it when I will be making my resume and writing a generic essay about myself, maybe I won’t feel it while giving interviews for companies, maybe I won’t feel it when we take our last exam together, maybe I won’t feel it on the farewell day and if I cry my eyes out, maybe I won’t feel it when I get my graduation degree, maybe I won’t feel it when I wake up one morning and know that I don’t have to go to college any more, maybe I won’t feel it when I think about the summer breaks I had (and there was a hope to see and enjoy with my friends again after the break ends) and I won’t be having such long summer breaks again, maybe I won’t feel it when I think about the secret college bunks we did.

But I might feel it the day, when it is the time of my life which I had been dreaming of and waited for so long whole life. I might feel it, but it still won’t hit me fully when, I will be sitting in a cabin only for me with a coffee cup in my hand and with all around me as complete strangers. I might feel it when I see real world of selfish & competitive nature, with people around me who will be waiting for every moment to throw me out from my position and take my place, I might feel it when I will be alone with all such people and no one to share my sorrows to and realise that I have to live with them for next some years, I might feel it when I realise I won’t get to bunk my office and I might feel it and it might hit me hard one day, when I will be married with someone and having kids remembering it was so great, the life during college, the four golden years of my life and the time to which I won’t be able to go back and all I would be able to do is sit with my kids share my about my college life and  laugh about all the stupid stuff we all did when we were in college.

Today is my last year’s first day, I feel I should make every moment of my Senior year count, as I only get to do it once and I won’t get it again in my life. I no longer spend my time in my circle of friends; we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed in three years, some for the better, some for the worse. We all are finding our own place in this crazy world and we don’t know where the world might take us and when we find out we will not get this life back when everything will blow us off and will be unacceptable.
So let me just say that college life does not really stinks and as this life and time is unalterable we must know that we're lucky enough to have good friends who care so much that it really doesn't have to suck quite as much as I thought in my three years. There are some things from my college experiences that I will carry with me for the rest of my life and some memories I will choose to forget. But when I will look back at those experiences, I'll see my friends the ones who got me through everything and I'll realize how lucky am to have them.

This is for all my friends ! J